Freedom

This might sound really wierd, but after striving for freedom my entire life, and finally experiencing a taste of it, I'm scared stiff.

Yep. That's right. I've finally broken loose of the chains and I'm ready to crawl back in. When everything you've worked for is finally accomplished, then what? When all of your dreams finally come true, do you have to start dreaming from scratch?

This is what happens when we begin to Realize our potential. All my life, I've wanted a family: Poof! Here's this amazing, healthy relationship with the best kids anyone could ever ask for. I've wanted to be a spiritual leader ever since I realized that it was even a possibility for me. Poof! Here's this amazing opportunity for me to be a leader in a vibrant, healthy community! And speaking of community, I've always wanted a family of friends who help me recognize my greatness. Poof! Here you go, Shell! I've had a secret desire to be a writer. Look at me! I get to write every day!

So now what? What is this dissatisfaction that I feel? Do I always have to be reaching, reaching out for something else?

Now that my dreams are being realized, I'm no longer chained by expectation.

And do you know what happens when the chains are loosened? I actually feel like I'm floating away. Disappearing. Loosing myself...Or is it that I'm loosing the self that I thought I was?

Maybe in loosing myself I gain my Self. I learn to recognize that I am truly more than my circumstances, more than my experiences, more than my thoughts and emotions and, yes, even relationships.

I am more! I feel those words on my tongue, I let them fill my heart. I swell with gratitude and joy - no longer free-falling, but here, present, healthy and happy. This is freedom. And it is good!

© Copyright 2004-2006 Shelly Walker, All Rights Reserved